JOKES

1 When Stalin completed 25 years of his rule over Russia, he wanted a special
postage stamp issued, with his picture on it. He so instructed the
Postmaster General, stressing that it should be of international quality.
The stamps were duly released of the stamp, he began hearing complaints that
the stamp was not sticking properly, and become furious. He called the chief
of the Secret Service and ordered him to investigate the matter. The chief
checked the matter out at several post offices, and then reported on the
problem to Stalin. He said:"Sir, the stamp is really of international
quality. The problem is, our citizens are spitting on the wrong side!"


2 Dilbert's Theorem on Salary states that Engineers,
Teachers, Programmers and Scientists can never earn as
much salary as business executives and sales people.

This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical
equation based on the following three postulates:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power (Knowledge=Power)
Postulate 2: Time is Money (Time=Money)
Postulate 3 (as every Physics student knows): Power = Work/Time

It therefore follows: Knowledge = Work/Time
and since Time = Money,
we have: Knowledge=Work/Money


Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work /Knowledge

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches
infinity, regardless of the amount of Work done.

Conclusion: The Less you Know, the More you Make


3 A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on
display.
While he was there,
another customer walked in and said to the shopkeeper, "I'll have a C
monkey
please."
The shopkeeper nodded, went over to a cage at the side of the shop and
took
out a monkey.
He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll
be
$5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey. Startled, the
tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very expensive
monkey.
Why did it cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast,
tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
expensive! $10,000!
What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manage object-oriented programming,
Visual C++, even some Java.
All the really useful stuff," said the shopkeeper. The tourist looked
around
for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a cage of its own.
The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to the shopkeeper,
"That one costs more than all the other put together! What on earth does
it
do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything,
but
the other monkeys call him the project manager."

.



5.
One day an old lady's dog passed out on her floor. She was
used to her dog playing dead, so she thought nothing of it,
but three days passed and still the dog didn't move, so she
became worried. She took the dog to her local veterinarian.

The vet set the dog on an observation table and began
examining the dog. A couple minutes later, the vet left the
room. Then he returned with a cage and inside the cage was a
cat. He set the cage next to the dog and let the cat out.
The cat walked around the dog three times then went back into
his cage.

A few minutes later the vet came to the old lady and said
"I'm sorry, but you're dog is dead. That'll be 250 dollars."

"250 dollars! For what?!" Shouted the old lady.

"Well, 50 dollars for the examination, and 200 dollars for
the cat scan."

6.

Two lawyers met at a cocktail party.

"How's business?" asked the first.

"Rotten," replied the other. "Yesterday, I chased an
ambulance for twenty miles. When I finally caught up to it,
there was already another lawyer hanging on to the bumper."

7.
A football coach walked into the locker room before a game,
looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to
let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there.
So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you
get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes
intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me
the answer to this. What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"

"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it
right.

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming,
"Come on coach, give him another chance!"

8.
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are
hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very
easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth"
even when you don't know anything.

The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted
by his mother at the front door he says, "I know the whole
truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just
don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from
work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The
father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a
word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day,
when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets
him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman drops
the mail, opens his arms and says, "Then come give your
FATHER a big hug."

9>
A Frenchman, an Italian and an American were sitting in a bar discussing
sex. "Last night I made love to my wife three times" boasted the
Frenchman. "She was in sheer ecstasy this morning..."
The Italian said: "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times, and
this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never
love another man."
When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how
many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
"Once." he replied.
"Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to
you this morning?" he asked.
"Don't stop."
10.
A group of girlfriends are on vacation when they see a five-story hotel
with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their
boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explain to them how it works. "We
have five floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are
looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor
has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the
men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh, and without
hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and
handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are
tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors
left, they kept going.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and
handsome." The women get excited and are about to go in when they
realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are
missing, they head up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor
was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."


11.

When Does God Cry ?
Saddam Hussain visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see the
defeat of Bill Clinton."
God replies: " Son, you will not see it in your lifetime."
Hearing this, Saddam Hussain starts crying and goes away.
Gen Parvez Musharaff visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see
the capture of Kashmir by Pakistan."
God replies: " Son, you will not see it in your lifetime."
Hearing this, Gen Parvez Musharaff starts crying and goes away.
Laaloo Yadav visits God and asks him: " God when shall I see Bihar
becoming a prosperous and happy state."
Hearing this, God starts crying.
Laaloo is astounded and asks: " God, why are you crying ? "
God replies: " Son, I will not see it in my lifetime "

12.
> A new lecturer was unable to control the class.
> The guys were just talking without giving any attention to him. So he
> wanted
> to send a guy who was creating most of the problem out. But he does n't
> know
> how to put it in English..
>
> So he went near the guy and shouted "follow me".
> The guy followed him till he went out of the class. Now the lecturer turned
> back and shouted "Don't follow me" and went inside the class..........

> # Inside the Class :
> ----------------
> * Open the doors of the window. Let the atmosphere come in.
> * Open the doors of the window. Let the Air Force come in.
> *
>
> Cut an apple into two halves - take the bigger half.
> *
>
> Shhh...Quiet, boys...the principal just passed away in the corridor
> *
>
> You, meet me behind the class. (meaning AFTER the class .. )
> *
>
> Both of u three, get out of the class.
>
> * Close the doors of the windows please. I have winter in my nose today ...
> *
>
> Take Copper Wire of any metal especially of Silver.....
> *
>
> Take 5 cm wire of any length....
>
>
>
> # About his family :
> ----------------
> * I have two daughters. Both of them are girls...(?)
>
>
>
> # At the ground :
> -------------
> * All of you, stand in a straight circle.
> *
>
> There is no wind in the balloon.
>
>
>
> # To a boy, angrily :
> -----------------
> * I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk ?
>
>
>
> # Giving a punishment :
> -------------------
> * You, rotate the ground four times...
> *
>
> You, go and under-stand the tree...
> *
>
> You three of you, stand together separately.
> *
>
> Why are you late - say YES or NO ....(?)
>
>
> # Sir at his best :
> ---------------
> Sir had once gone to a film with his wife. By chance, he happened to see
> one
> of our boys at the theatre, though the boy did not see them. So the next
> day
> at school... ( to that boy ) - " Yesterday I saw you WITH MY WIFE at the
> Cinema Theatre


13.

Three Cheers for the Madness called Pakistan !!!
If an insect falls into a mug of beer, what would people do?
An Englishman would leave his mug of beer untouched and walk away.
An American would take the insect out and drink the beer any way.
A Chinese would eat the insect and throw away the beer.
An Indian would sell the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the
American and buy himself a fresh mug of beer.
A Pakistani would accuse the Indian intelligence agency of throwing
the insect into his beer, Relate the issue to Kashmir and ask for
UN mediation,demand for Chinese military aid, take a loan from the American to buy a fresh
pint of beer, chuck it away, swear by Osama Bin Ladin, yell for
Jihad against India and charge all dark-skinned passerbies with being
traitorous Bangladeshis!!

14.
Just after Pakistan got their new Chinese fighter planes, they sent

a squadron of their best pilots to China for training. "Ok, this one
is
easy to fly", said the Chinese instructor, "even you fools should
be able to operate it! You press this button to go up, this one to go left
and
this one for turning right! Simple! Got it??"
"But how do we come down?" asked Capt. Altaf Pasha, the Top Gun of
Pakistan. "Oh that," said the Chinese, "don't worry! Just leave it
to
the Indian Air Force!"

15.
Ashraf, a Pakistani went to London's Heathrow airport to buy his
ticket back home to Rawalpindi. At the counter he found that he was
10pence
short of the fare. Having no other way out, he turned to all the
other passengers and begged.... "Will someone please give me 10
pence?I
badly want to go back and meet my Abba and Ammi again!"
"Here" said a nearby Indian, reaching into his wallet and handing
himawhole Pound "..
"please keep the change and take another nine of your countrymen
with you!"

16.Subject: Fw: Poor Clinton!!!!
A reporter asked Clinton one day. "Was Monica lying?"
Clinton responded by saying. "No, she was only on her knees."

************

Q: Why does Hillary want to have sex
with Bill every
day at 5 am?
A: She wants to make sure that she is
the first
lady.

*************

Q: What is the difference between
Clinton and the
Titanic? A: Only 200 women
went down on the Titanic.

*****************

One Sunday morning Chelsea burst into the living quarters at the White House and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great
news for you!
I am getting married to
the greatest hunk in Washington. He
lives in
Georgetown and his name is
Matt." After dinner, the President took
Chelsea
aside. "Honey, I have to
talk with you. Your mother and I have
been married a
long time. She's a
wonderful wife but she's never offered
much
excitement in the bedroom, so I
used to fool around with women a lot.
Matt is
actually your half-brother,
and I'm afraid you can't marry him."
Chelsea was
heartbroken. After eight
months, she eventually started dating
again. A year
later she came home and
very proudly announced, "Robert asked me
to marry
him! We're getting married
in June." Again her father insisted on
another
private conversation and
broke the sad news. "Robert is your
half-brother
too, honey. I'm awfully
sorry about this." Chelsea was furious!
She finally
decided to go to her
mother with the news. "Dad has done so
much harm. I
guess I'm never going to
get married," she complained. "Every
time I fall in
love, Dad tells me the
guy is my half- brother." Hillary just
shook her
head. "Don't pay any
attention to what he says, dear. He's
not really
your father."

**********************

Women in Washington DC were asked if
they would have
sex with the President.
86% said "Not again."

******************


Hillary Clinton died and went to
Heaven. St. Peter
was giving her a tour
of
Heaven when she noticed that there were
thousands
of clocks on the wall.
Each clock displayed a different time
of day. When
she asked St. Peter
about the clocks, he replied, "We have
a clock for
each person on earth
and
every time they tell a lie the hands
move. The
clock ticks off one-second
each time a lie is told.
" Special attention was given to two
clocks. The
clock belonging to Mother
Teresa has never moved, indicating that
she never
told a lie. The clock
for
Abraham Lincoln has only moved twice.
He only told
two lies in his life.
Hillary asked, "Where is Bills' clock?"
St.Peter
replied, "Jesus has it in
His office...He's using it as a ceiling
fan."

***************

President Clinton and the Pope died on
the same
day, and due to an
administrative foul up, Clinton was sent
to heaven
and the Pope was sent to
hell. The Pope explained the situation
to the devil,
he checked out all of
the paperwork, and the error was
acknowledged. The
Pope was told, however,
that it would take about 24 hours to fix
the problem
and correct the error.
The next day, the Pope was called in and
the devil
said his good-byes as he
went off to heaven. On his way up, he
met Clinton
who was on his way down.
They stopped to chat. "Sorry about the
mix up" says
the Pope. "No problem,"
replies Clinton. pope says "Well, I'm
really excited
about going to heaven."
Clinton asks, "Why's that?" "Well, I've
wanted to meet the Virgin
Mary." President Clinton replies,
"you're a day
late".


17.
While waiting for a bus a sardar sees a truck being towed away by another
truck.
He laughs, breaks down, rolls on the ground and cannot control his
laughter.
There is a madrasi who is standing with the sardar for the bus.
He wonders what's up ? Calls sardar, but sardar cannot control himself,
points at the towing truck & again rolls on the ground, billowing more
dust.
The madrasi appa is annoyed, pulls up sardar asks him what is so funny ?
The sardar says "Kya zamana aa gaya hai, Ek rassi uthane ke liya
do-doTruck"
and again starts rolling.......

18.

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! PART I

A telephone company fired their president after nine months,
saying he lacked "intellectual leadership". He received a $26
million severance package. Perhaps it's not the president who's
lacking intelligence...

Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to
subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.
After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that
the man was standing beside them, shouting to please come out
and give himself up...

An Illinois man pretending to have a gun kidnapped a motorist
and forced him to drive to two different automated teller
machines. The kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from
his own bank accounts...

A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day
suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last
week - for a mint! The boy allegedly told a classmate that the
mints would make him "jump higher." Also, a student in Belle,
West Virginia was suspended for three days for giving a
classmate a cough drop. The school principal reiterated the
school's "zero-tolerance" policy...not to be confused with
the "zero-intelligence" policy...

A man in Taormina, Italy was hospitalized after swallowing 46
teaspoons, 2 cigarette lighters, and a pair of salad tongs.

A man walked in to a Topeka, Kansas convenience store and
asked for all the money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the
take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked
the counter himself for three hours until police showed up
and grabbed him.

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! PART II

In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into
a police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his
forehead and calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to
help him find his brain, which he claimed had been stolen.
Police were shocked to learn that the man had drilled a 6-
inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & Decker power drill
and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.

More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship
badly enough to pay $10,000 a piece for the first tourist
flight to Mars. According to the Italian police, the would-be
space travelers were told to spend their next vacation on
Mars, amid the splendors of ruined temples and painted
deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis to oasis and enjoy
the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals and
marvel at the views. Trips to the moon also available.
"Authorities believe that the con men running this scam made
off with over six million dollars.

In Medford, Oregon, a 27-year-old jobless man with an MBA
blamed his college degree for his murder of three people.
"There are too many business grads out there," he said. "If I
had chosen another field, all this may not have happened."

Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up?! PART III

Los Angeles Police lucked out with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives
asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me
all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not
what I said!"

A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a
dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-
of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the
front of his pants as he was running out the door. "He was
seen hopping and jumping around," said a police spokesman,
"with an explosion taking place inside his pants." Police
have the man's charred trousers in custody.

A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant
and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.
"No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"

In Modesto, CA, A man was arrested for trying to hold up a
bank without a weapon. He used a thumb and a finger to
simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand
in his pocket. Wonder what he uses for a knife?

19.

A guy was typing away at his home computer, when his six- year-old daughter sneaked up behind him.

Suddenly, she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!"

"What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly.

Proudly she replied, "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"

20.

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her
mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something
that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have
a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it
that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

21.
A well-dressed businessman got into a Manhattan cab and asked to be taken to LaGuardia airport. While stuck in traffic, the businessman leaned forward and said, "How's your spirit of adventure?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I have to be in Chicago for a meeting, but the thought of flying there just bores me. Why not drive me there? The meeting will last only an hour. I'll pay the gas, tolls, your hotel room, meals, and then you can drive me back tomorrow."

The driver said, "Sure, why not?!" and off they went.

They motored through Jersey, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Indiana, and finally into Chicago. The businessman did his meeting (while the cabbie waited) came out, got back into the cab and they took off to the hotel. They shared a huge meal, the businessman paid for two rooms. The next morning, they took off back towards Manhattan. When they arrived, the meter read $4,625.80.

When they got back to the businessman's office in Manhattan, the man told the cabbie, "Let me go in the bank here and I'll get you a certified check. I'll make it for $5,050 so you'll get a sizable tip for your service."

"Great," the cab driver said, "Thanks."

"One last thing. When I give you the check, I'd like you to drive me home, please. I'm extremely tired."

"Where do you live?"

"Brooklyn."

"No way! I'd have to drive back over the Tri-Boro Bridge without a passenger!"

22.
Subject: Divorce


A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local
court. But the
custody of their child posed a problem.
The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the
judge that since she had brought the child into this
world, she should retain custody of him.

The man also wanted custody of his child. The judge
asked for his side
of the story too.

After a long moment of silence, the man rose from his
chair and replied "Judge, when I put a dollar in a
vending machine and a Pepsi comes out, does the Pepsi
belong to me or to the machine?"

23.
Woman in a pub

A rather attractive woman goes up to the bar in a quiet rural pub.
She gestures alluringly to the barman who comes over immediately.
When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his
face close to hers. When he does so, she begins to gently caress his
beard which is full and bushy. "Are you the manager?" she asks,
softly stroking his face with both hands." "Actually, no" he
replies. "Can you get him for me - I need to speak to him?" she asks,
running her hands up beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't" breathes the barman - clearly aroused. "Is
there anything I can do?" "Yes there is. I need you to give him a
message" she continues huskily, popping a couple of fingers into his
mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "Tell him" she says
"that there is no toilet paper or hand soap in the ladies room."

24.
Computer Diagnosis
One day Bill complained to his friend, "My elbow really hurts, I guess
I should see a doctor.
" His friend offered, "Don't do that. There's a computer at the drug
store that can diagnose
anything quicker an cheaper than a doctor." "Simply put in a sample of
your urine and the
computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about
it. It only costs $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine
sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in
the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some
noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out
popped a small slip of paper on which was
printed:
You have tennis elbow.
Soak your arm in warm water.
Avoid heavy lifting.
It will be better in two weeks.
Late that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was
and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if
this machine could be fooled. He decided to give it a try. He mixed
together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples
from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the
concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made he
usual noise and printed out the following message:
Your tap water is too hard.
Get a water softener.
Your dog has worms.
Get him vitamins.
Your daughter is using cocaine.
Put her in a rehabilitation clinic.
Your wife is pregnant with twin girls.
They aren't yours.
Get a lawyer.
And if you dont stop jerking off, your
tennis elbow will never get better

25.

Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office. "What is the meaning of this?" the director asked. "When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you've ever held."

"Well," the young man replied, "in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination

26.
Matt's dad picked him up from school to take him to a dental appointment. Knowing the parts for the school play were supposed to be posted today, he asked his son if he got a part.

Matt enthusiastically announced that he'd gotten a part. "I play a man who's been married for twenty years."

"That's great, son. Keep up the good work and before you know it they'll be giving you a speaking part."

27.
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life," her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why's the groom wearing black?"

28.
Are you considering having children? To determine whether you are truly prepared for the experience, we suggest you take this set of simple tests... PART II

FEEDING TEST:
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8 to 12 pounds of sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8:00 PM begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 PM. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 PM. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00 AM. Set alarm for 5:00 AM. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for five years. Look cheerful.

PHYSICAL TEST (WOMEN):
Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10% of the beans.

PHYSICAL TEST (MEN):
Go to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:
Find a couple who already have a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run riot. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.

29.
Pak blunders


Make sure that u don't dress green!>

Three Cheers for the Madness called Pakistan !!!
If an insect falls into a mug of beer, what would people do?>
An Englishman would leave his mug of beer untouched and walk away.>

An American would take the insect out and drink the beer any way.>
A Chinese would eat the insect and throw away the beer.>
An Indian would sell the insect to the Chinese and the beer to the
American and buy himself a fresh mug of beer.>
A Pakistani would accuse the Indian intelligence agency of throwing
the insect into his beer, Relate the issue to Kashmir and ask for
UN mediation,demand for Chinese military aid, take a loan from the American to buy a fresh
pint of beer, chuck it away, swear by Osama Bin Ladin, yell for
Jihad against India and charge all dark-skinned passerbies with
being traitorous Bangladeshis!!
===============================================================
A Pakistani news editor got a 20-year jail sentence for calling the
Pakistani Prime Minister a fool. Five years for the scandal and
fifteen for revealing a state secret
===============================================================
Have you heard about a Pakistani War hero ?> Neither has Pakistan.
===============================================================
Ashraf, a Pakistani went to London's Heathrow airport to buy his
ticket back home to Rawalpindi. At the counter he found that he was

10pence
short of the fare. Having no other way out, he turned to all the
other passengers and begged.... "Will someone please give me 10
pence?I
badly want to go back and meet my Abba and Ammi again!"
"Here" said a nearby Indian, reaching into his wallet and handing
himawhole Pound "..
"please keep the change and take another nine of your countrymen
with you!"
===============================================================
Just after Pakistan got their new Chinese fighter planes, they sent

a squadron of their best pilots to China for training. "Ok, this one
is
easy to fly", said the Chinese instructor, "even you fools should
beable to operate it! You press this button to go up, this one to go left
and
this one for turning right! Simple! Got it??"
"But how do we come down?" asked Capt. Altaf Pasha, the Top Gun of
Pakistan. "Oh that," said the Chinese, "don't worry! Just leave it
to
the Indian Air Force!"

=====================================================================
Why Pakis couldn't conduct nuclear tests before the India's nuclear
tests? cause they took time to read the "Nuclear tests Manual". It was
written
in Chinese.


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